There's something about Horoscopes that entice me to read, even if it is only to poke fun, or pass time. It's mind-bottling that the alignment of the stars, and the position of celestial bodies in our skies, "can" predict what our day will be like according to our sign.

I'm a Capricorn, and so goes my horoscope that I may feel like redecorating today. And though, it doesn't help my point I will admit that this one time it hit the nail on the head. I have a few ideas floating around in my head that I'm a few moments shy of planning out, but alas, it is not always right. But I know a few people that claim it's right everyday, every time.

That the people spewing these bits of advice, and predictions have some sort of extraordinary ability. I know of people that tune in to the same channel everyday, at the same time to watch some effeminate man, dressed in colorful robes tell them how to live their day, and what-not.

Just the other day I was sitting next to a friend watching the teli, they waited patiently for their sign to come around, and the man said "itchy palm? You will receive money." So, they dragged me to the Seven to buy a lottery ticket. Really?

I don't like Horoscopes for an array of reasons. The idea that my day was decided by some stranger reading the sky, bothers me. As beautiful as it sounds I do not move to the motion of the stars. I may be made of stardust, but I don't flow through life accordingly. But I read them anyway. I can't quite understand why, but I do.

What do you think about Horoscopes? Why do/don't you read them?

Relationships can be hard, but they can also be a tasty slice of cake if you practice assertiveness, and honesty.

There’s nothing in the world that I steer clear of most when looking for a partner than a deceiving nature. Some guys have come to call it “privacy,” and let me tell you right now that that is a load of shit.

Privacy means being able to make a bowel movement without being questioned. It means going out with your family by yourself without us. It means letting you have your guy time, without bitching. But it does NOT mean that you can have “private” social networking sites, that you can lock your phone whenever we are with you, and body slam it when we reach for it. (Girl’s Note: Those are major signs of cheating, and unless you are convinced that your man is not an idiot, I’d start packing his shit in a box, and throwing it out the door.)

Here are a few helpful guidelines to follow, prove to us you love her without saying it every few minutes.

1. If on the off chance that we are annoying you, tell us 'to be quiet,' not to shut the fuck up, or anything of a sort. If you're rude, we will take it as a challenge, and gladly accept it. We will then proceed to talking until your ears bleed. On the other hand, if you have an understanding girlfriend, and you tell her to be quiet nicely and respectfully, she will be. 
2. NEVER JOKE ABOUT CHEATING! Those of you who have, know what can happen if you catch us on the low with that monstrosity of a joke, if it can even be considered that. If we have a history of insecurity in our relationship, and you've accepted us with it, please don’t come out randomly saying “I’m sorry I cheated on you.” You will ignite a fire under your own ass, and then cook like the swine that you really are. SO, if you fuck up, and pull this sour attempt at humor apologize, and admit you were wrong.
3. When we call you don’t hide to answer—unless you are at a rather noisy place. A question mark will pop into existence atop our little heads. If we call and you are in the bathroom of your friend’s house, on the sidewalk rather than inside , in the bathroom of a restaurant, or just plain astray from your pack, we WILL question you. So, the next time you call tell us you love us in front of your buddies. 
4. If you text like a madman, do not get defensive if we ask you who you are speaking to. Especially, if you are doing it while we're spending time together. So, don't text or just open up. We understand you text. We just want to know you don't have anything to hide, and you don't owe anyone else more attention than you owe us when we are together.
5. If you are friends with a predominant amount of girls, as appose to guys, shut up and take it! No one told you to surround yourself with our competition, so deal with our bouts of jealousy, and questioning. Of course, we trust you. But, let's be real! If you talk to more girls than guys, and we haven't met them, or are even allowed to ask about them, things will get edgy. So, introduce us, tell us about her. We KNOW her name is not "A. Friend."

I'm going to be frank with you, don't cheat, don't lie, and don't lead on. They are the worst things you can do. If there's someone else, give the girl the dignity, and respect she deserves, and tell her it's over. I see a lot of you men out there keep the girl in your hand while you test the water with others. We are not your safety nets. Same goes for girls, but that's for another post, at a later time.